Interpreting the Unwritten Rules or are they Guidelines?

How many times has an innocent comment or statement resulted in unnecessary conflict and confusion in a team?  How unsettling is it when you make a suggestion which you think will improve some aspect of the work being undertaken and the reaction is explosive, almost violent - what did you say that was so wrong, how could you have been so badly misunderstood?

Even in the most collaborative and communication intensive team there are lots of "rules" which people need to learn about how to work together. In distributed teams this gets magnified and intensified due to the myriad filters and layers of meaning we unwittingly apply to communication.

In this talk Shane presents examples of how the most innocent of question or suggestion can send teams into a spin, and suggests a number of techniques to help create an environment where real communication can happen, irrespective is your team is co-located or distributed

 
 

Outline/structure of the Session

This is an interactive talk in which the participants explore their own preconceptions and biases, and experience a technique for turning "rules" into "guides".

The first part of the talk explores our instinctive responses to some situations and has the participants examine their own reactions.

Then Shane presents some aspects of psychology that explain where our own filters come from and what some of them are.

The next section looks at how our filters and preconceptions become "rules" which cause stress when we break them, and shows a technique for rationalising and transforming these rules into "guides" which are situational and context dependent and able to be processed by our logical minds.

The participants then explore the technique for themselves. 

Learning Outcome

  • We all have filters through which we look at the world
  • There are many different filters
  • My filters are not your filters
  • Different is not wrong
  • Our filters often become rules which govern our attitudes and behaviour
  • Rules are invariant and restrict our choices
  • Many rules should be reworked to become guides
  • Guides give us freedom to make good contextual decisions

Target Audience

All

Requirements

None - this works in either lecture layout or pods.  No limit on number of attendees. 

schedule Submitted 1 year ago

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  • ☕ J. B. Rainsberger
    By ☕ J. B. Rainsberger  ~  1 year ago
    reply Reply

    I really like this topic. I'd like the intended value of the session to bludgeon me, and the opening paragraphs doesn't quite do this. These unwritten rules are disorienting. They are a roadblock to even the most basic communication, let alone high-performance collaboration. When we don't know the unwritten rules, we are pariahs and we don't understand why. It makes us cry. Things like that.

    "Rules into guides". Powerful stuff. I want more people to see this, so I want the opening paragraph of this proposal to make the significance of this session crystal clear. What wonderful thing will start happening once I understand and use the techniques you'll share? What terrible thing will continue to happen if I don't? Won't somebody think of the children?!

    • Shane Hastie
      By Shane Hastie  ~  1 year ago
      reply Reply

      Thanks for the feedback JB.  I've updated the overview to try and convey the message - does it sound better now?