The Pitfalls of the Unspoken: What Do You Expect?

What if we lived in a world where we had no expectations of one another? While that may seem unrealistic, as human beings, we tend to enter relationships (both business and personal) with a set of expectations. Instead, what if we understood those expectations and were honest with one another regarding them? In this session, we’ll explore some of the pitfalls of unspoken expectations and how we can be more intentional and open. We will cover some of the science of what goes on in the brain when expectations are unmet while also discussing ways to "publish" what we expect of one another.

 
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Outline/Structure of the Talk

  • Open/Intro - tell a story about how I came to this topic and why it resonated with me
  • Activity to connect with audience - write down the following on blank sheets on tables as it relates to you (the individual) and you on a given team
    • write down 1 or 2 expectations you have for your teammates
    • expectations they have for you
    • expectations for self
  • Define expectations (A definition) and go through the science of what goes on in the brain
  • Since we covered Science of the brain, will present some "Math" that explains the delta between our expectations and observations
  • More definition around Dangerous Expectations
    • Veiled Expectations
    • Unspoken Expectations
  • Introduce a structure of a "Playbook"
    • A way to document/discuss team members expectations of one another
    • (could be as an augmentation to our Team Working Agreements)
  • What to do when expectations are not met
    • We control our response
    • Activity - simulate expectation not being met
      • What is going on for you?
      • What is the conversation that you are having with yourself?
    • Immediately get curious
      • Has my expectation been communicated?
      • Is it understood?
      • Is it a reasonable expectation?
  • Discussion on activities you and your team can do
    • Brainstorm
    • Working Agreements
    • Playbook
  • Recap and Close
    • Brief activity - bring back the first activity, knowing what you know now, what will you do with the sheet of paper you wrote your expectations down? How will you share?

Learning Outcome

The primary outcome is to build some awareness around how our unspoken expectations show up and what we can do with them. Secondary to that will be to provide a concept/structure for teams to Publish their expectations with one another.

Target Audience

Anyone

Prerequisites for Attendees

None needed.

schedule Submitted 4 months ago

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