To help people and teams thrive, we want to be fierce: we want to “show heartfelt and powerful intensity” (as the conference organizers remind us). Doing that requires that we create a strong container around that fierceness to use its energies productively. And that requires empathy.

This talk will explore how empathy – the ability to understand others' needs and ensure that they know that you understand them – is what Charles Duhigg calls a "keystone habit", a behavior change that unlocks other cascading behavior changes. Building the habit of empathy will help you to build trust, influence others, give effective feedback, and enable collaboration. Along the way, we will look at seven tools to enhance your practice of empathy and help you to be fierce.

 
 

Outline/Structure of the Talk

What are keystone habits?

  • Otters as a keystone species in SE Alaska
  • Keystone habits create cascading positive behavior changes
  • Empathy is a keystone habit for human relationships

Understanding Empathy

  • Empathy (at least in this talk) is what social psych calls “perspective-taking”
  • Critical for building trust, influencing others, enabling collaboration, and working with conflict
  • Presence or absence of empathy determines whether or not a human ecosystem can flourish
  • Work happens in a container of relationships

Understanding Yourself

  • Self-understanding is needed to understand others
  • Tip #1: Treat Feelings as Data

Understanding Others

  • Tip #2: Listen at (at Least) Level 2
  • Tip #3: Notice Your Judgements
  • Tip #4: Ask “Where’s That From?”

Understanding Each Other

  • Tip #5: Help Others Empty Their Cup
  • Tip #6: Know and Disclose
  • Tip #7: Ask for Reactions

Learning Outcome

Participants will:

  • Describe what keystone habits are
  • Identify what makes empathy a keystone habit for human relationships
  • Discuss seven ways to improve their practice of empathy
  • Choose one of the seven tools to try out in the next 24 hours

Target Audience

People who want to get better at working with other people

Prerequisites for Attendees

None

schedule Submitted 9 months ago

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